There isn’t a single one of us who has overcome the human condition of self doubt. Whether you’re a supremely confident person, a content Zen monk, a successful writer … it doesn’t matter. You have doubts about yourself.

The question is whether these doubts stop you from doing amazing things, from leading the life you want to lead.

I was one of those people who toiled for long years under various masters — kind and unkind — because I doubted my ability to be my own boss. I doubted whether I was a good enough writer to succeed in a world of immensely talented writers.

These doubts weren’t overwhelming, but that’s the sneaky thing about them. They aren’t in your face — they creep into your subconscious so that you don’t realize they’re there, tugging at you, wearing at you, grinding you to a stop. They lurk in the dark, extending an influence so pervasive that it seems a part of the fabric of our being, even if it’s only a corroded thread that’s snaked itself into that fabric.

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Scientists have proposed many physiological mechanisms by which emotions, attitudes, and overall consciousness can potentially transform our health and influence stem cells. For example, Dr. Bruce Lipton hypothesizes that our consciousness affects DNA expression through influencing proteins embedded in our cell membranes (Lipton B. The Biology of Belief. Santa Rosa, CA: Mountain of Love/Elite Books; 2005).

As shown in Menninger Clinic experiments, individuals are able to shift consciousness in a way that can alter the body’s electromagnetic dynamics. Lipton hypothesizes that this alteration changes the physical configuration of membrane proteins, in turn, affecting communication between the outside and inside of cells. Roughly speaking, this consciousness-driven energy is like a radio signal triggering the garage door to open. This opening initiates a cascade of physiological events which regulate gene expression and, in turn, cell fate, potentially in a life-enhancing direction.

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As the child is connected to the parent, to be connected with another person is the only security we ever have in life. In that sense we never grow up.

An illusion. An anesthetic. An irrational compulsion. A neurosis. An emotional storm. An immature ideal. These are the descriptions of love that have long populated the psychological literature. Let us not even consider the obvious fact that they are highly judgmental and dismissive. The question I want to pose is, does any one of them, or even all of them together, come close to capturing the extraordinary experience that for most people is an enormous part of the meaning of life—an experience that fosters well-being and growth?

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You don’t need to be a monk to find solitude, nor do you need to be a hermit to enjoy it.

Solitude is a lost art in these days of ultra-connectedness, and while I don’t bemoan the beauty of this global community, I do think there’s a need to step back from it on a regular basis.

Some of my favorite activities include sitting in front of the ocean, still, contemplating … walking, alone with my thoughts … disconnecting and just writing … finding quiet with a good novel … taking a solitary bath.

Don’t get me wrong: I love being with loved ones, and walking with a friend or watching the sunset with my wife or reading a book with my child are also among my absolute favorite things in the world.

But solitude, in these days as much as ever, is an absolute necessity.

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‘Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.’ ~Victor Frankl

Editor’s note: This is a guest post from Gail Brenner, Ph.D. of A Flourishing Life.

Are you ready to be a warrior for inner peace? Doing less and organizing more simplifies for sure. But until you deal with the ways you get knotted up inside, your life will be complicated, and the glory of inner peace will elude you.

Inner peace is revealed when the inner war ends. We stop looking outside ourselves for solutions to our problems and, instead, turn our attention inward to make peace with our own experience. This simple movement of attention is revolutionary. It heals, calms, and clarifies like nothing else.

From Darkness to Light

We are experts at denying our experience. Take any habit that doesn’t serve you – compulsively shopping or staying busy, self-judgment, jealousy. If you trace it back to its root, you will find an expectation or feeling you have been avoiding.

These hidden aspects of ourselves thrive when we ignore them, leaving fear, desire, and lack to unconsciously drive our behavior. Once they are illuminated by becoming aware, we see how they operate, and we can make a different choice. No more conflict. No more confusion. Finally, peace.

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