Self-Compassion: The Key to Psychological Well-Being

 

Basically, self-compassion involves treating yourself with kindness, caring, nurturance, and concern, rather than being harshly judgmental or indifferent to your suffering. What distinguishes self-compassion from self-love or self-acceptance is that you frame your failures, your inadequacies, or the suffering in your life that’s not your fault in light of common humanity. Instead of feeling Oh, poor me, which is like self-pity, we understand that the human condition is tough. Humans aren’t perfect, and things go wrong. That’s the way it is for all of us. Also, people feel isolated, separated, and cutoff when they notice things about themselves that they don’t like or when something goes wrong. Another aspect of self-compassion is mindfulness. To have self-compassion, you have to be able to notice and become aware of your pain. A lot of people say, “Of course I’m aware of my pain,” but actually, in our culture’s stiff-upper-lip tradition, we’re often so busy solving the problem we don’t notice that the situation is really hard, especially when our pain comes from criticizing ourselves or seeing something about ourselves we don’t like. So we need to be mindful of the fact that we’re suffering; at the same time, we don’t want to get carried away in a personal drama that exaggerates the extent of our suffering. Self-compassion is seeing things as they are—no more, no less. That’s kind of a long-winded answer, but it’s necessary to think about all these facets of self-compassion to understand it in a more rich way..

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Applications of Positive Psychology

Positive psychology studies happiness and how that relates to love and gratitude. What faith offers, such as community, gratitude, forgiveness, purpose, acceptance, altruism, and eternity, increases well-being. Marriage is the hope for happiness. We choose a career, or fly believing, hoping, or having faith. The chance for error in faith makes humans humble and open to hope that feeds love and joy.

Positive psychology also studies meaning and motivation and how these relate to happiness. Life purpose is the meaning and direction of one’s reality or experience and goal creation and pursuit. Quality relations and quality life are achieved through negotiation of adversities. To understand whether a political action is good or bad, it is possible to look at motivation or the motive, such as the general group/public good purposive and committed principle, versus a personal self- need.

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Developing Creativity With Visual Thinking

“I may think in pictures, but first I write everything out in words.” Brian Selznick

Brian Selznick’s 2007 novel “The Invention of Hugo Cabret” is the basis for the new Martin Scorsese movie “Hugo” – the story of an orphan, living in a Paris train station at the dawn of the 1930s.

An article quotes the author:

“When I first presented ‘Hugo’ to [publisher] Scholastic, it was going to have one drawing per chapter and be about 100 pages. But the more I thought about the book, the more I thought it might be interesting to try to tell the story like a movie.” ///

Linda Kreger Silverman, Ph.D. of the Gifted Development Center explains, “Visual-spatial learners are individuals who think in pictures rather than in words. They have a different brain organization than auditory-sequential learners.”

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52 Ways to Tame Rude, Crude and Attitude for a Polite Society

Sara Hacala has written a pathbreaking book that presents 52 ideas and practices to spur us on to a revival of a more civil society. Here is an excerpt on nurturing civility on the Internet.

“The Internet, which has become a nearly indispensable global communications tool in only a few short years, has afforded many positive benefits, far outweighing its drawbacks. Whatever your personal view, it is fair to say that the Internet, in all its forms, has altered the way that most of us communicate interpersonally.

“In July 2010, the Pew Research Center issued a report, ‘The Internet and the Future of Social Relations,’ based on 895 respondents, 371 of whom were technology experts. Asked to project, in 2020, whether the Internet will have produced a mostly positive or negative effect on the larger picture of their social relationships, 85 percent foresaw the Internet as a positive influence.

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Glorious Gaffes

From athletes who “choke” to concert violinists who flub well-rehearsed passages, to presidential candidates who space out, all of us are susceptible to performing poorly under pressure. Your motor memory might have a routine down pat, but as soon as the conscious, anxious part of your brain takes over, those normally smooth and automatic processes go awry.

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How Positive Psychology Can Boost Your Business

In tough times, entrepreneurs try the so-called science of happiness to build thriving companies

To understand how positive psychology—the so-called science of happiness—is being used by entrepreneurs, it helps to look at a company under siege. After all, it’s one thing to talk about the connections between a positive mental state and a healthy company when a business is running well, turning a profit, and grabbing new customers. But tougher times really test entrepreneurs, separating those who hunker down and hope the worst will pass from those who use their strengths to find opportunity amid rubble.

Robert Aliota is determined to be, when necessary, one of the latter. In 2004, Aliota, the owner of Carolina Seal, an 11-employee Charlotte (N.C.) company that makes custom-engineered parts for DuPont (DD) and John Deere (DE), among others, learned that a competitor had pounced on one of his key segments. Worse, the rival had hooked ExxonMobil (XOM), a customer that had eluded Aliota.

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Positive Psychology, Positive Prevention, and Positive Therapy

Psychology after World War II became a science largely devoted to healing. It concentrated on repairing damage using a disease model of human functioning. This almost exclusive attention to pathology neglected the idea of a fulfilled individual and a thriving community, and it neglected the possibility that building strength is the most potent weapon in the arsenal of therapy. The aim of Positive Psychology is to catalyze a change in psychology from a preoccupation only with repairing the worst things in life to also building the best qualities in life. To redress the previous imbalance, we must bring the building of strength to the forefront in the treatment and prevention of mental illness.

The field of Positive Psychology at the subjective level is about positive subjective experience: well being and satisfaction (past), and flow, joy, the sensual pleasures, and happiness (present), and constructive cognitions about the future-optimism, hope, and faith. At the individual level it is about positive individual traits — the capacity for love and vocation, courage, interpersonal skill, aesthetic sensibility, perseverance, forgiveness, originality, future-mindedness, high talent, and wisdom. At the group level it is about the civic virtues and the institutions that move individuals toward better citizenship: responsibility, nurturance, altruism, civility, moderation, tolerance, and work ethic (Seligman and Csikszentmihalyi, 2000; Gillham and Seligman, 1999).

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Certain yogis have remarkable—and proven—abilities. Why does mainstream science remain skeptical?

Ancient yogic lore discusses special abilities, called siddhis, which may be attained through the disciplined practice of meditation. From a modern perspective, tales about siddhis are usually dismissed as superstitious nonsense. But when systematic science is applied, abilities once regarded as impossible, ranging from conscious control of the autonomic nervous system to perception through time, are found to be possible after all. This doesn’t mean that all yogic lore is true, but if we’ve overlooked even a tiny proportion of our remarkable capacities, what does this imply about the full range of human potential? And what does it imply about the way that mainstream science has marginalized or ignored such abilities?

What do you think? Join the discussion at Noetic:

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The Magic Ocean of Energy and Resonance

The infinitely complex field (or ocean) of information that surrounds us—the higher-dimensional unified field of consciousness—interacts with us in myriad ways. First we see the normal consequences of our actions—A causes B causes C. In addition, similarly vibrating fields of meaning within the ocean bring helpful and even curative synchronicities into our lives. How can we connect with it all?

Our glowing etheric body provides a clue. We are more than our physical bodies. Interpenetrating our physical form are energetic aspects of ourselves that extend far beyond the etheric level—according to many teachings, they include the astral body, the mental body, and the causal body. These energy bodies may literally provide us with a way to link up and interact with the higher-dimensional consciousness field—by tapping into the mechanism of similar vibrations. That is what the wisdom teachings of many recent teachers are all about—being in the “same vibration” as one’s goals.15

What is the trigger that can activate the awareness and power of our true higher-dimensional selves? The gateway, according to most of humanity’s wisdom traditions, is the now. Remember: as our fish rested in the stillness and quiet of the ocean in a state of present and loving awareness, it was suddenly propelled into a greater and expanded oceanic world. So can it be for us. By developing what I call active consciousness—a deep form of awareness that not only passively receives information from the greater consciousness field but also acts, interacts, creates, and manifests within it—humanity may finally fulfill its greatest potential.

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The Single-Changing Method

Post written by Leo Babauta.

After last week’s article on How I Changed My Life, In Four Lines, I had many people ask the same question:

“I want to change a few different things in my life — health, debt, productivity, etc. Do I really need to do them separately, focusing on one thing only and nothing else until that change is done? Even if they’re in different areas?”

Yes, I would recommend you focus on one change at a time. Here’s why.

It’s very hard to make changes that stick, especially if you’re trying to focus on more than one. In my experiments, I’ve found very consistently that changing multiple things at once doesn’t work very well. Your focus gets spread thin, and in the long run you end up failing to stick to any of the changes. If you’ve tried and failed at multiple changes at once before, you’ll know what I mean.

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How I Changed My Life, In Four Lines

‘What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step.’ ~C. S. Lewis

Post written by Leo Babauta.

Changing your life can seem an incredibly tough and complicated thing, especially if you’ve failed a great number of times (like I did), found it too hard, and resigned yourself to not changing.

But I found a way to change.

And I’m not any better than anyone else, not more disciplined, not more motivated. I just learned a few simple principles that changed my life.

I’ve written about them many times, but realized they’re spread out all over the site.

Here is how I changed my life, in a nutshell.

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Real-life Jedi: Pushing the limits of mind control

The inner workings of the brain can now be read using low cost hardware

You don’t have to be a Jedi to make things move with your mind.

Granted, we may not be able to lift a spaceship out of a swamp like Yoda does in The Empire Strikes Back, but it is possible to steer a model car, drive a wheelchair and control a robotic exoskeleton with just your thoughts.

"The first thing is to clear your mind…to think of nothing," says Ed Jellard; a young man with the quirky title of senior inventor.

We are standing in a testing room at IBM’s Emerging Technologies lab in Winchester, England.

On my head is a strange headset that looks like a black plastic squid. Its 14 tendrils, each capped with a moistened electrode, are supposed to detect specific brain signals.

In front of us is a computer screen, displaying an image of a floating cube.

As I think about pushing it, the cube responds by drifting into the distance.

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5 Ways To Turn Fear Into Fuel

Uncertainty. It’s a terrifying word.

Living with it, dangling over your head like the sword of Damocles, day in day out, is enough to send anyone spiraling into a state of anxiety, fear and paralysis.

Like it or not, though, uncertainty is the new normal. We live in a time where the world is in a state of constant, long-term flux. And, that’s not all. If you want to spend your time on the planet not just getting-by, but consistently creating art, experiences, businesses and lives that truly matter, you’ll need to proactively seek out, invite and even deliberately amplify uncertainty. Because the other side of uncertainty is opportunity.

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Thinking Anxiously



thinking anxiouslyAnxious people tend to think differently than those who are more laid back. Thoughts of those with anxiety often stay focused in the future. You don’t really feel anxious about what happened last week, you worry about what may happen later today, tomorrow, or even years from now. Here are a few examples of people having anxious thoughts.

1. Sally looks in the mirror. Her hair is turning grayer. She thinks that everyone who looks at her immediately sees her as old and being old is terrible. She believes that most people also think that she is ugly. Old, ugly, and worthless. She doesn’t want to leave her house because she is sure that people will judge her. Eventually, she stops caring about herself. She doesn’t have her hair done because she believes that nothing she does will make her look better. Her friends and family wonder why she has become such a recluse.


 

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Seven Signs That You Need to See a Mental Health Professional



purple faceEveryone has bad days. And many have bad weeks. But when feeling depressed, stressed, or anxious stretches out over a period of several weeks and begins to interfere with daily life, then mental health professionals may need to be involved. Here are some signs that you or someone you care about need evaluation and possibly treatment:

1. Suicidal thoughts or plans. If you start thinking that life is not worth living, help is available. You can call the national suicide hotline at 1-800-SUICIDE or a local mental health center. If you are aware of someone else who has thoughts of suicide, the hotline can advise you of what action you should take.

2. Feeling defeated and hopeless. Life can be tough. But if you feel that there is nothing to look forward to and hopeless, a mental health professional may be able to help you see other possibilities.


 

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